I’m not sure how to broach this topic so let me just jump right in.
husband of 33 years, Ato Zergabachew, has become as horny as a schoolboy
watching a woman breastfeeding on the #22 bus for the first time!
I, on the other hand, have gone through "the changes" and have as much
interest in the shmaglE as a donkey has for a sturdy whip. I would
love for him to take his "interest" elsewhere and leave me in peace, but
I'm worried he'll come home with a disease or two. And, AbatE
ymutu!, I refuse to die of that asafari beshta like some
20 year-old street walker !! So what am I to do?
Dear Woizero Mazengya.
Here's what I advise, mraq-yewaTech-woman-to-mraq-yewaTech-woman.
It is perfectly acceptable for you to find your aptly named husband a nice
girl (whom you shall appropriately tested, of course) to take care of his
needs while you attend to more important matters (like overseeing the drying
of drqosh to send overseas, for example). There
are several good headhunters (or should I say tailhunters) that I can recommend
-- Woizerit Maritu at Sree Doors Agency in Kazanchis can help you
in this regard. A particularly useful contact for me in my own time
of need was Imet Bezabish, who has her establishment in the Tedros Adebabay area. I will send you their contact numbers offline, and will also include the name of a good testing laboratory. Once you find the right girl, all you would have to do is hire her to help
out at home -- Ato Zergabachew, if he's worth his salt, won't believe his luck...and of course, you would pretend to know nothing, as wise women always do.
My girlfriend, whom I love dearly, brays and kicks my shins violently,
every time she has an orgasm. She says she's trying to curb this bizarre
behavior, but she hasn't done Jack shit about it so far. Although the upper
two-thirds of my body can't be sufficiently satiated with her whole, my
lower third is rebelling. Like many of my compatriots, I am weary of rebellions.
How can I quash the ass within her without losing her?
I Get a Kick Out of Her
Dear I Get A Kick,
How times have changed! In my younger days, a man would consider
it an Allahsend if a feisty woman manifested herself on his bed and rode
him like a horse (or a donkey, for the sedate). Don't worry.
It's not your fault. I blame it all on the introduction of the ampul
in our country. Before the ampul, a little kick here
and there in complete darkness would poke or jab our imagination when we
became a little too complacent. I know it is haram to pine for what
we have already crossed but I must confess I do long for the Dark Ages.
Young man (I am assuming you're young because I would otherwise suppose
you'd have known better), all I can say is turn off the ampul,
fasten the imaginary spurs on your heels and gallop the whirlwind.
Stop whining about the occasional debris shower.