10. Melke-melkam set-weizerit seeks loga [tall] Ethiopian man. If you are 5'5', full-bodied and able to support a kid on your borCH, let's talk turkey. Special consideration given if you also sport that charming ET receding hairline.
9. Overachieving Single Ethiopian Female seeks Single Ethiopian Male who is the model "perpetual graduate student" in any field. Me: finishing up my fifth Ph.D. in mathematics. You: willing to multiply my Vectors. Show me your Nonlinear Dynamics and I'll bare my Fluid Dynamics. Let's see whose Applied Probability lasts longer. Willing to share my Tat'miyasQoreTimu, Fractal Geometry theories if you are open to "integer dimension"-ing your way to my axiom. Please, no fractal divisions, hang-ups about The Sierpinski Triangle or weird obsessions with your Koch Curve. Non-smoker, occasional boozer with healthy appetite for logistic equations OK. Call me.
8. QorraT welloyé, a mere toddler when the Emperor returned from exile, seeks woman 18-20 ½ , who's fertile and has swallowed her saliva. I've completed all four Qiddassie zikrat, own 45 sheep and 17 cows. Can get more if it will cement the deal.
7. I am a SEMESSRS (Single Ethiopian Male Educated in Single-Sex Religious School) who still weakens at the knees at the thought of a long wooden paddle dispensing some much needed and well-deserved punishment. I am in search of a costara SEF who is a strict and exacting disciplinarian. I'll meQTef the sama, fire up the berbere maTegna stove, and pick a choice limiCH or two for your careful consideration; I've been a very, very bad boy.
6. Frustrated Ethio man seeks Ethio woman of any age, complexion and size who does not believe she'll descend to EnToroTos for moving during lovemaking. Would consider marriage if you are open to making some/any noise as well.
5. I am a recent "12 complete" who has not yet found a job that can support me in the manner I would like to be accustomed. I am 25 years old, with light brown eyes and luCHa hair for which I am quite famous, a selkaka loga who has to fight off women. I require a visa (DV or green card preferred) to the US, a wardrobe, a generous teQoraCH for, er, expenses, an apartema close to abesha nightspots and markets. Poor women, no matter how beautiful, need not apply.
4. Remember making out behind the amphitheater, and those gym parties? Remember the fun we had taking SATs and seeing the people from other schools sweat out TOEFL? (Tee hee!)…So what if we cant speak a word of decent Amarigna, and who cares about what life in Addis was "really" like? (Tish, Tosh.) Successful ye'ICS molQaQa seeking same. Let's get together over flavored coffee and recount the ways we are better than everyone else. Please bring ICS diploma (hope you have it laminated and mounted on white oak frame, as do I), college transcript and credit report. Let's promise not to mention our embarrassing matric results -- didn't want to do well anyway, aydel?
3. Mature Ethiopian awaQee seeking a God-fearing, church-going Ethiopian woman who steadfastly observes the arb-erob fast, respects the adbar and knows the atete ritual inside out. Let's magwarat together -- your wiQabi or mine?
2. Are you a tall, erudite, independent SEF, 29-45, tired of the 18th Street scene, and seeking someone who could be The One? I am SEM, 40, tall, dark, (some say handsome) with an odd sense of humor, a better sense of timing, and a remarkable ability to laugh with you about life and its strange twists. I cook, I read poetry, and I'm known to give extraordinary backrubs. I also will enjoy trying on any of your clothing, particularly if you have scratchy, acrylic ye-beteseb mutanti (you know the kind -- garish bright colors, long like biker shorts and edged with itchy lace?) from the Addis awirdulign merchants. Let's make sweet music together…
… and the number one Ethiopian personal ad…
1. To that special Single Ethiopian Woman: I'm the Vaseline for your QeCH, the dingetegna for your ras-mitat, the ariti for your gunfan, the abish for your gastrike, the Qibat for your Chirt. Let me be the best medhaneet you've ever had -- take two and I promise you won't need to call the doctor in the morning.
