by: J. Mesfin
It is not a sacrifice. And it never will be. What my return to Ethiopia signifies is just one more step to fulfill the unfulfilled. And I have made so many such steps in the past without much indecision that I sit marveling at my current mental tossing and turning over the issue. I am plain scared of discovering for myself what most have concluded as the undisputed reality of my future home - joylessness.
I speak in the language of possibilities and not negations. Live in the world of "Why not," and breathe the air that is semi-purified by the struggles, sufferings and convictions of those who spoke my language before me, in my present and the future. Those addicted to the vision of how things ought to be, cannot hide their withdrawal when they collide with the way things are. This collision emits the brightest sparksI find my way in the darkness from such unparalleled brightness. Light created out of the heat of soul friction.
I can only walk upon what has been illuminated for me. My refusal to walk in darkness is not a moral choice but just instinctual. There is no need for discussing whether I trust my decisions or not. I am not deciding to return to my Father in a way a judge decides a sentence after considering the Pros and Cons. Mine is a choice. I choose what I see, hear, believe and how I act. I make a choice that is a matter of taste and not a product of calculations. One might miscalculate, but one never